Wife is Life with a W

 

I look at this woman and I know I love her with every fibre of my being. We have been married for 15 years now (hope I got my math right, or I am sure I will be in deep trouble), and I still love her scent in the morning, at noon and at night. I even love her scent over the phone. I was 30 and she was 23 when we decided to tie the knot. We really did not know what we were doing. When we had our first child we messed up a lot of baby bottles and baby clothes and a long parade of other baby stuffs. But we figured it out, this thing called life, little by little. After 15 years I love the fact that I still can't stand the idea of her crying because of a word I said or a thing I did. I think she has so far cried twice in all these years, and I know it is two times too many.

I love the cuddling. I love the way she combs our daughters' hair. I love the hand-holding in the car, the morning husky voice, the X-Box 360 game interruptions, the regularly misplaced TV remote, and the tilted head when she signs papers. Oi, it is an avalanche of things to love in that little house of ours. And all these, I realize, are only as such because we found God somewhere along the way. Or it might be that the Lord found us.

Wife is life with a W. And a W is an inverted M. And M might we say, stands for "Miracle". I know it is quite a stretch, but I truly believe in the conspiracy of all the angels in heaven in making sure that two becomes one in the eyes of God and man. And I pray it stays that way until we are all wrinkled, toothless and black in the armpits.

Now, where is that TV remote...
  

D-Group

Yes, it is true and official; I am now a member of a D-Group. I became one in February this year.

A D-Group, for those who are asking, is a group of people who meet to study the Word of God. In CCF, one may choose to be part of a group composed of people of his/her own age. Some choose to be in a couples' group, while others, like me, choose to be in a group composed of the same gender. The D-Group leaders have their own D-Group (called a D-12, you know why 12, right?) among themselves in order for them to continually learn how to lead (and share the Gospel). And all these are part of a system that is being organized and ran by CCF (Christ Commission Fellowship), where the aspiration is to make every member a discipler (to make disciples who will make disciples)  so that, as in Acts 1:8, we will be His "witnesses  in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth".

The idea of a D-Group is biblical. And the first D-Group is of course the Lord Jesus Christ and the 12 apostles. It is difficult for one to grow in Christ alone. It is when people gather together in His name that He promised to be in their midst. And in a D-Group, the members carry each other's burden through sharing of testimonials,  life verses and their day-to-day applications to the life of one who has decided to bear the name of Christ.

At first I was one of those who abhorred the idea of having to regularly (in my case every Wednesday evening) meet and congregate in order to be closer to God. I had always thought that my D-Group is my own family, since together we pray and go to Sunday services, and discuss Christian life over dinner and coffee. However, it is hard for one to be a self-proclaimed leader if one lacks the training to lead. And in a D-Group, each member is viewed as a future D-Group leader, and hence trained towards that role from Day 1. I did felt inadequate at times to lead my family in our daily walk. So late last year as I finished reading the Book of Revelations (thus completing my first round of reading the whole Bible), I thanked the Big Boss for taking the one year Bible-reading journey with me, and said, "Boss, as a continuation of lifting up myself as a living sacrifice to you, I will join a D-Group in 2015".  And when 2015 came, I took the plunge.

As God always has a plan, as soon as I publicly declared (in Facebook) my aspiration to join a D-Group, a Freemason brother messaged me back inviting me to the D-Group he is leading. I told him I plan to join a D-Group but it has to be on Wednesdays, and of course his D-Group meets on Wednesdays. And it has to be after office hours and of course his D-Group meets at 7:00PM.

And still I told him I intend to join a group that meets in CCF. And guess where does his D-Group meet? 

Exactly.

2014 was my Holy Bible Year

2014 was a great year for me. I managed to move jobs and had a fruitful first 180 days in my new post. My eldest daughter got baptized into Christianity by a CCF pastor.  I have grown closer to my nieces, who from before were behaving a bit uneasy and distant in my presence. I also managed to complete my York Rite masonic studies and gained the Knight Templar degree. Likewise I completed my 4th to 30th degrees and got me into a position of achieving my 32nd degree in Scottish Rite Masonry this January.

But if there is one thing that really made 2014 great, it is the fact that I managed to read the Holy Bible from cover to cover in 12 months. It was an uphill battle in most times, but the struggle were all worth it. It helped a lot that my wife gave me a Ipad Mini for Christmas in 2013, and having downloaded a copy of the Bible, it was quite good to have it easily accessible when caught in slow moving traffic in the morning and early evening. It got to a point when I felt that the traffic jams were blessings. It became my signal to read (with the formula from Pastor Peter Tanchi in mind) my daily dose of 5 chapters of scriptures. True enough, when December came, I was just about at the start of the Book of Revelations. What a great blessing!

Having read the Bible from Genesis to Revelations, I now have a clearer grasp of how a Christian life is not and will never be a stroll in the park, or a bike ride along the boulevard. I now clearly see with 20-20 vision that it is a walk in the jungle, where you do not really see what lies ahead. there may be steep ravines, wild beasts, foggy terrain and what have you. And by our own physical and mental prowess there is no way we could walk that path on our own. We have to  keep our eyes on the Shepherd.

And while this walk in the jungle may be a scary proposition, we need not be unhappy and scared and stressed out. We are supposed to walk in faith, and trust the Shepherd. For our own happiness springs eternal in His glory.
 

Wait for it...Wait for it...

Yesterday was a great day. We had a guest (albeit via recorded video) speaker from Singapore, a warm fellow who goes by the name of Pastor Edmund Chan. He spoke mostly about the Book of Samuel, but took us through a new way of feeling the vibrancy of the narrative. What a treat.

The most important thing I learned from his exposition of Samuel was that it is important to be cognizant of the tension, the tone, the twist, and the theology when reading the Bible. In Samuel, everyone in attendance was taken through how the Ark of the Covenant was taken away from the hands of the Hebrews (in great anguish and defeat) by the Philistines. I could imagine that if I was part of the Hebrew people back then, this would be the single, most devastating news that would send everyone running back to bed and assuming a fetal position. I would probably just lie there until the day I die.

But (wait for it, wait for it...), a twist occurred.

The next chapters took us through the punishment that God brought down (tumors and infestations) to any Philistine city that hosted the Ark. To a point that city dwellers refused to receive the Ark into their city walls having heard of what happened to the first host cities.

At some point, the Philistines decided to find a way to return the Ark to the Hebrews.

Listening to and enjoying Pastor Edmund's talk, I thought about my own struggles. Sometimes I feel that my Christian walk becomes quite taxing. I would wake up everyday trying to be the person I know I must become; emulating Christian traits that I hope one day would become me.  And yet, rather than feel myself advance, I see myself walking sideways and backwards, even if at times  I do find myself making some good steps forward. I want to give my best to God, but lately I feel stagnating. The view ahead had been the same for a long while. It had been like riding a bus and looking out the window, and for hours and hours you can only see the same tree, or the same goat and the same mountain behind it.

I went to last Sunday's service in CCF feeling drained and tired. I had been waiting, and waiting for something that would change my window view. I was deep inside about to run to my bed and assume a fetal position. And then the twist happened. Pastor Edmund Chan happened.

He said that the only answer to the question of why don't we not give our best to God and for God, is that...WE CANNOT. By ourselves, and with our own power, we simple do not have the capability. We succumb to the first appearance of temptation because by ourselves we are imperfect. But the twist is that GOD CAN. So if we surrender ourselves again and again to Him in our moments of weakness and struggle and stagnation, He will see us through.

Now I know I just need to find more quiet time and stop relying on myself. I need to surrender those little things that seem too little, but are actually in the aggregate taking me away from Him. What could these little things be? I will name one and for sure no one will disagree.

X-Box.