What You Need Is What He Gives

After God's intervention as regards my brother, I began feeling God's presence in my life. I also became more discerning about things, I looked for the Lord in everything that I did. I realized that God has been with me all my life, it was just that I could not feel Him because I was too busy with my own ambitions. I grew up being told about a dog-eats-dog world. So I clawed my way into everything, always willing to get dirty just to get where I want to go. Until God manifested Himself in my life. I realized that I do not have to cross swords with everybody. If He is with me, I could fulfill my purposes in this world without being an ass.

I started rethinking my position in life. Perhaps my role in God's program is not to become a bigshot. Perhaps He wants me to be something else. So I told Him, "Lord, I think I do not have the mental faculties to fully discern your ways. But let me know what my role is in this whole story about You, and I will gladly fulfill it". In short, I surrendered my life to Him.

And then I started seeing that He provides for my needs. An example I like to tell my friends was about my wedding. Two days before the wedding date I was short by 20 thousand pesos to fully pay the reception expenses. I was to pay this as balance right after the event. For some reason, I was not worried.

The next day, as I went to the office to process my clearance (I was mivng jobs), and the HR guy said, "Sir, what do you want to do with your 20 days leave credits, transfer it as your leave credits in the agency you are moving to or monetize it?". I said, "I did not know we can monetize it, because the agency i'm moving to is an attached agency of this office.". The HR guy answered, "Well, this is the Office of the President, if you want to monetize, I can monetize it for you."

Guess how much did it add up to after the HR guy computed it? Yes. 20K. The HR guy also said, "Well, this is the Office of the President, if we want to expedite release of the check, we can." So I got the money COB the same day. God is so good.

OK, Do Not Worry

My brother was then about to undergo surgery. I went to the chapel at St. Lukes to pray to God, even if back then I was not much of a believer. That day I decided to come to Him for help. I knelt down and started praying. I prayed many times before; prayers of the perfunctory kind. But on this day I really opeend up to God, and I remember vividly that I asked Him to let my brother live. I also promised that if God allows him to live on, I will guide my brother at least until he is able to start a family. After spending about an hour of praying, i felt God's presence in the room. It was the very first time I really felt Him. I felt a warm feeling from my toes that crawled up to my chest. And as I lifted my eyes up I heard His voice. He said, "OK, Do not worry, your brother will live on to build his own family."

This was the first time God spoke to me. And He made good on His word. This was 10 years ago, and my brother now has three kids. God is so good.